My twin and I, the first children to be born of my parents, were named after my father “John” – I was named Mary “Jean” and my sister Mary “Joan”. Being given the name Jean set the stage for what later would develop into an intimate relationship with Jesus and the apostle who was the closest to His Heart – John the Beloved.
One day in prayer, several years ago, I sensed St. John inviting me to take His place resting against Jesus as he did at the Last Supper. I was intimidated by this at first, but gradually I was able to put myself in John’s place with my head leaning against the Heart of Jesus, receiving His love and consolation. Throughout the years, my love for Jesus and for St. John continued to grow. I was fascinated by John’s closeness to Jesus, and sometimes I found myself actually envying the love relationship they had. I desired the same intimacy with Jesus that John had.
A little more than two years ago, I was introduced to the book In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart - The Journal of a Priest at Prayer. This book was and continues to be a balm to my soul, for it speaks of Jesus’ desire to be a friend to everyone (especially to priests) - “Be my friend, the friend of my Eucharistic Heart, as was St. John. He will help you to follow him in the way of a strong and tender love for Me… The disciples of My beloved disciple will be known by their burning love for Me in the Sacrament of the Altar, … and by their willingness to remain close to Me in My bitter Passion” (In Sinu Jesu, p. 42).
In our community, we have the privilege of having Eucharistic adoration twice a day. It is in these hours of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament that I have experienced a growing intimacy with Jesus and a desire to give everything to Him. I often call upon the Beloved Apostle to help me realize this desire.
Very recently, I experienced another invitation from my patron saint – this time to stand at the foot of the Cross, between St. John and Mary, the Mother of Jesus. St. John was the only apostle who had the courage to stand at the foot of the Cross during Jesus’ hours of agony and death. As we near the celebration of these holy events, let us ask the Beloved Apostle for the courage to be with our Savior during His passion and death, to console Him and offer Him the undivided love of our hearts.
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-Sr. Jean Daugherty, T.O.R.
