Truth be told, I can be a little bit of a taskmaster – with others and myself. One of the things that the Lord seems to be inviting me into these days is learning to embrace my limitations, needs, and overall poverty. I recognized one day working at the thrift store that I was resisting showing my need for a lunch break, so I made a firm purpose of amendment to be kinder to myself the following day, when I was to work in the food distribution at the Urban Mission.
So, at 12:30 or so, I grabbed my lunch and parked myself on the curb where a few volunteers were taking a break and another lady was waiting for produce – she’d come at a time when they didn’t have any bags ready, so she was delayed in her errand but seemed very patient. We got to talking and she shared how perplexed, saddened, and nearly overcome she was by a recent tragedy in our community: a toddler who was, apparently, intentionally left to die by his mother and mother’s boyfriend.
I knew about the story. Indeed, I had known the mother and boyfriend in the past. It was just another unthinkable horror in our sad world, but this lady couldn’t shake it from her mind. So I passed along to her some advice I’ve received: it doesn’t usually help to look at painful things and try to figure them out or even ask the Lord WHY they happened. But it can help to ask Jesus where he was or is in the painful situation. I started applying it to this tragedy.
Where was Jesus? Certainly, he was in the little boy who suffered so horribly, in all innocence. He was also in me and the grieving woman next to me – as members of Jesus’ body by Baptism, we are an extension of his earthly life. Even our sorrow is a sort of prayer and a “making up for what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ.” (cf. Col 1:24) I trust, too, that Jesus is beckoning the mother of this toddler and her boyfriend, trying to call them out of whatever darkness allowed them to make the choices that led to this child’s death.
The lady sitting beside me gasped at each layer of presence thus unveiled, and exclaimed as she realized Jesus’ sorrow for this child: “Oh, that makes it sadder! Jesus suffers so much – and after all he has already done!” I agreed – it is sadder. But, I added, “It also makes all of it have meaning.”
We prayed together as our conversation concluded. Then she smiled and squared her shoulders, saying, “I think God wanted us to meet today! I can’t believe all I’ve come to see. I will be thinking on this a lot.” As she turned to go, I reminded her of the produce she still hadn’t received.
“Sister,” she said, “I’ve got plenty of food – it’s fine. You’ve just given me better food.”
As she walked away, I realized that our conversation had also satisfied me much more than my sandwich and I remembered Jesus’ conversation with his disciples after he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well and they found him there, having purchased food in the town:
Meanwhile, the disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat of which you do not know.” So the disciples said to one another, “Could someone have brought him something to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of the one who sent me and to finish his work (John 4:31-4).
What a privilege it was to feast on the mysterious food of God with a stranger whom I came to know as a sister in Christ! May God give you opportunities as well to dine on his will and feed others with that mysterious food.
Watch a beautiful 3-min. video about our ministry in downtown Steubenville here.
-Sr. Agnes Thérèse Davis, T.O.R.
