Each year on November 1st we have the opportunity to celebrate all of the saints in heaven! That means every single person who is officially recognized as a saint by the Church, and those who aren’t. Today we can pause and reflect on the lives of family and friends who have gone before us. How have we seen them living a holy life and striving for sainthood? How have they they inspired us to be a saint? Today I often find myself thinking about my cousin Mark. I want to share with you a reflection I wrote about him when I was in high school and was able to read it at his funeral a couple of years later.
When I look into the dull brown eyes of Mark Ashford, I don’t see the pain and suffering of a person with a brain tumor. I see a person who is not willing to let his disease overtake him. I also see a person who cares for others but isn’t afraid to play practical jokes on them. Mostly, I see the strong faith he had in God.
Mark was one of the few and the proud--the Marines. He joined after he graduated from high school and remained with them for almost twenty years. The career choice Mark made helped him remain physically fit, and during the Gulf War he was sent to Saudi Arabia to be among the first ground troops to enter the area.
In June of 1996, Mark began having seizures, so his wife took him to the hospital. After many tests and several weeks, Mark was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The doctors determined it was malignant and very aggressive. Mark met with several doctors before he found one that he liked. Mark chose her because she was positive and looked on the bright side of things, while the other doctors did not.
Mark continued a normal everyday life, except he got up early to be at the hospital by 8:00 a.m. to receive his treatment. He received chemotherapy and radiation five days a week for seven weeks.
As a kind gesture a group of relatives got together, over Labor Day Weekend, to paint his family’s house. We didn’t tell him we were coming until the day we showed up ,so we caught him totally by surprise! When everyone was accounted for there were sixty-seven people! We started painting the house on Saturday morning and continued all weekend.
Little did we know that Mark would surprise us that afternoon. He had called a friend of his, who was a police officer, to come out and put tickets on everyone’s vehicles that were parked on the street. When the officer started giving out tickets, fuses blew! Everyone was complaining, and a couple of my uncles approached the officer to “express” their feelings. Mark played along perfectly by being one of the “guys.” After the officer left, my cousin looked at her ticket to see how much we would all have to pay. She smiled shyly as she read, “Gottcha, thanks for the kindness and generosity. Love Mark, Pam, and the kids.”
Mark still had another practical joke up his sleeve. His brother was arriving Sunday evening at around five o’clock, so at four thirty, Mark stood at the corner dressed in rags and holding a sign that read, “will work for food.” His brother drove past him saying to his wife, “That man should come and help paint the house.” Then they both looked at each other and asked, “Was that Mark?” They stopped, turned around, and sure enough, it was him!
Mark was also very active with his children and church. He coached his youngest son’s soccer team and was going to coach his daughter’s soccer team, too. At his church Mark taught a Parish School of Religion class, he lectored and was an usher, along with various other activities. The thing that struck me the most about Mark was when he told his father that they had found the perfect medicine for his disease. His father asked him what it was, and Mark replied, “The little white pill I receive every day at mass. I know that Jesus will always be there with me.”
Mark is my cousin and I really did not know him well, but he has taught me that life is important, and I need to live it to the fullest. He showed me this through his kind and caring ways. I love Mark with all of my heart and my prayers will always be with him and his family.
Sr. Sophia Grace Huschka, T.O.R.
(The above picture shows my cousin, Mark, and his wife, Pam, in front of a mural we painted on their shed the same weekend we painted their house.)
